Few days ago I was having fun with my siblings about idea for STK story, and after that I took my stylus, and start to draw this ideas, and I made small animatics, so ... enjoy watching. Well ... if it's not what STK need, at least I have fun drawing this, and also it maybe gives to someone ideas for real STK story.
The animation and the dialogue were fairly cool, but the ideas themselves are, well, not that original. You already admitted that the first 2 ones are inspired by ST and STK respectively, and the third one also seems a little if not staight out too straightforward.
They're for sure not terrible, but my vision for the plot is more complex than that. Regardless of how it ends up, it shouldn't try to appeal to everyone unless we wanna make it appeal no one.
I challenge you to make an Idea #4 inspired by my story as well, maybe it ends up better than I expected. As a side note, my plot outline draft is already done, but it's currently only visible for me and Alayan. I also mentally fleshed out the personalities for a few more characters.
Since STKE is aiming at a much higher quality in pretty much everywhere, the Story Mode plot shouldn't be an afterthought either, and, in my opinion, someone serious about it should write it. Obviously that doesn't have to be me, but I'm really happy and very willing to help, but I have to admit I came here for the Story specifically, and not jusy to contribute.
Hi C4mil011.
I appreciate your feedback, but how I see you took my stories seriously, actually I did that animatics more like a joke stories (not as contribution), I just did that for fun (because I was laughing with my siblings about that ideas, and I just share with y'all, so you can laugh with me).
And also if you challenging me to make Idea #4 (based on your story), I have a few questions according your story, so ...I read your story, but I don't understand some things:
Where is Nolok?
Why is Mr. Iceblock in the main story?
You using the same idea: Where Nolok kidnapping GNU or not?
As joke stories, they're actually nice (even if they're not 100% original), and I really liked the "lunch" joke.
Well, the exact events of my Act I aren't locked down yet, and I might especially change the location of it. Still, feel free to do the Idea #4 if you still want to, and don't force yourself to use the exact lines I wrote. It's currently more of a proof of concept until we seriously start working on the cutscenes. Even if the first 3 ideas kinda failed at originality, they were very well executed.
Also clarifications:
1. We dunno. Seriously. The characters don't even know it's Nolok the one who kidnapped Gnu.
2. Since it's confirmed that he'll make it into Evolution, I thought: "Why not add him too?". Anyways, I can replace him with someone else in that exact scene, but that'd mean modifying the dialogue as well.
3. Well yes, but actually no. It's used more as background noise rather than the main point of the plot. I decided focusing more on the tension in between Tux and Pidgin, even if it's not as straightforward.
C4mil011 Wrote:I challenge you to make an Idea #4 inspired by my story as well
Hi, i did it, Idea #4 based on your story.
Of course, I didn't copy your story, I changed a lot of stuff, I only made "based" on your story.
Note: Next time, just call me Camilo (even though that's not my real name), not C four mil zero one one.
While I'm still keeping my base idea, there are actually a few details that work just well, even better than the correspondent ones in my demo script. Here's what I'll likely do in the next draft for first Story cutscene script:
Tightening the number of initial characters. By focusing on only 3-4 characters first (specifically Tux, Pidgin, Wilber and Adiumy), players will be able to get to know a little more about them (what about Xue, Suzanne and Emule, let's say they're still working – or running in a mouse wheel, if we talk about Xue – in the garage). As you've probably already previously seen, 4 out of the 7 in the first draft only got 1 or 2 lines.
Using a similar introduction, the 5AM stroll, the janitor joke, and eventually the flip phone. In a nutshell, they simply worked.
Now, as a side note, according to my headcanon (that may become canon), you got Emule's and Puffy's personalities not only wrong, but totally wrong (wait for their character sheets, you'll see).
Also according to my headcanon, "Morning news! [throws newspaper in Tux's head] Oh, yeah. Bullseye." is what Dashie, not Emule, would say. Talking about Dashie, I'mma do send you her sheet soon, preferably before you get done with the kart animations.
Anyways, by itself, the animatic was hilarious, and, while it doesn't focus on internal/interpersonal rivalries like my idea does, its style is already comparable to Crash Team Racing's.
If I do get recognized as STKE's creative writer, I'll still love getting suggestions, especially from you and especially for funny lines. Not to mention that the looks are excellent, and that I'm not really that good at drawing characters.
Hmmm ... how interesting ... two persons looks at the same character, and see different personalities.
First of all: you said that you see her as "tomboy" (male-ish manner), but when I look at her I see just happy bunny girl, in my mind her manner is more like ... hmmm ... (only one character comes to mind as reference) it's "Kit Casey" (from "The Creature Cases"), I think Dashie's personality is simmilar to Kit Casey, well ... at least it's my thoughts when I look at her.
If you want you can watch "The Creature Cases" to see what personality I meant (on YouTube exist few episodes).
C4mil011 Wrote:Dashie usually doesn't really get excited when winning nor angry when losing (even though she doesn't like it), but her reactions are still crystal clear.
Well ... about that:
I really want to see her excited (I actually have some ideas for winning animation).
That she didn't get angry, I like this idea.
P/S: I just looked at Tyson Tan's Image (Creator of Dashie), And I see that he describe Dashie as "Playful little bunny girl, young and eager to learn."
8 hours ago(This post was last modified: 8 hours ago by C4mil011.)
(01-08-2026, 09:38 PM)Mish7913 Wrote: Hmmm ... how interesting ... two persons looks at the same character, and see different personalities.
First of all: you said that you see her as "tomboy" (male-ish manner), but when I look at her I see just happy bunny girl, in my mind her manner is more like ... hmmm ... (only one character comes to mind as reference) it's "Kit Casey" (from "The Creature Cases"), I think Dashie's personality is simmilar to Kit Casey, well ... at least it's my thoughts when I look at her.
If you want you can watch "The Creature Cases" to see what personality I meant (on YouTube exist few episodes).
C4mil011 Wrote:Dashie usually doesn't really get excited when winning nor angry when losing (even though she doesn't like it), but her reactions are still crystal clear.
Well ... about that:
I really want to see her excited (I actually have some ideas for winning animation).
That she didn't get angry, I like this idea.
P/S: I just looked at Tyson Tan's Image (Creator of Dashie), And I see that he describe Dashie as "Playful little bunny girl, young and eager to learn."
I kinda struggle describing some characters' personalities properly in words, and Dashie's one of them.
What about the winning animation, you can make her excited but not very much. She (and other characters as well) should react like winning a race, not like winning a trillion bucks at the lottery (obviously the latter one never happened, but it could happen on accident).
What about Tyson Tan's Dashie desc, I found the trait "playful" too vague. It can mean childish, creative, flirty, just to name a few. I skipped this outright. Also: "young" –> 20; "eager to learn" –> she has recently started racing.
I have to admit Dashie's sheet is somewhat misleading and it lacks details. Do you think making a few lines of dialogue for her (alongside two more characters) would work? Anyways, besides that, I'm gonna make Kiki's and Hexley's character sheets. And maybe, but only maybe, a kart concept for Kiki.
Well ... if it's not what STK need, at least I have fun drawing this, and also it maybe gives to someone ideas for real STK story.
