[Suggestion] My Idea for Story Mode

[C4mil011]

I challenge you to make an Idea #4 inspired by my story as well

Hi, i did it, Idea #4 based on your story.
Of course, I didn't copy your story, I changed a lot of stuff, I only made "based" on your story.

Note: Next time, just call me Camilo (even though that's not my real name), not C four mil zero one one.

While I'm still keeping my base idea, there are actually a few details that work just well, even better than the correspondent ones in my demo script. Here's what I'll likely do in the next draft for first Story cutscene script:

• Tightening the number of initial characters. By focusing on only 3-4 characters first (specifically Tux, Pidgin, Wilber and Adiumy), players will be able to get to know a little more about them (what about Xue, Suzanne and Emule, let's say they're still working – or running in a mouse wheel, if we talk about Xue – in the garage). As you've probably already previously seen, 4 out of the 7 in the first draft only got 1 or 2 lines. 
  
• Using a similar introduction, the 5AM stroll, the janitor joke, and eventually the flip phone. In a nutshell, they simply worked.
  

Now, as a side note, according to my headcanon (that may become canon), you got Emule's and Puffy's personalities not only wrong, but totally wrong (wait for their character sheets, you'll see).

Also according to my headcanon, "Morning news! [throws newspaper in Tux's head] Oh, yeah. Bullseye." is what Dashie, not Emule, would say. Talking about Dashie, I'mma do send you her sheet soon, preferably before you get done with the kart animations.

Anyways, by itself, the animatic was hilarious, and, while it doesn't focus on internal/interpersonal rivalries like my idea does, its style is already comparable to Crash Team Racing's.
If I do get recognized as STKE's creative writer, I'll still love getting suggestions, especially from you and especially for funny lines. Not to mention that the looks are excellent, and that I'm not really that good at drawing characters.